It's a serious question. Just how fucking stupid are we, anyway?
The Republicans tell us that failing to extend the Bush tax cuts for the upper 2% of the wealthiest of the wealthy is a BAD thing, even though conservative estimates say such a move would slice $750 BILLION off the deficit over the next 10 years. What's our response as a nation?
1. Are you being stupid? We're talking about $750 billion off the deficit! So some billionaire can't buy a second yacht for his mistress. $750 billion! Off the deficit! Over 10 years!
Or do we say...
2. Duh. You is right Mr. Republikin. Them billyunares worked REEEL hard to inherit those munnys and it would be BAD to make them pay more taxes cuz taxes is BAD!
The answer, of course, is #2. We voted in a Republican majority to the House of Representatives that killed any chance of making the wealthiest of the wealthy pay their fair share. In the meantime, the middle class pays more.
The Republicans tell us that we can't afford Medicare, Social Security, Health Care and all the stuff we count on because the deficit is too big. Because they'd have to raise taxes. And taxes are bad. What is our response?
1. Don't be an idiot! First of all, if we tell Mr. Gottrocks that his mistresses don't need ermine stoles for each day of the week, they can afford to pay the same tax rates they paid in the 1990s, which happened to be the most prosperous era in our recent history.
Or do we say...
2. Duh. Rite again, Mr. Republikin! Them dark peeples is on welfare too much and won't get jobs because of ACORN and Bill Ayres, so it am GOOD that you have to cut Social Security and Medicare and Health Care as long as you leave my shit alone.
The answer again? #2. Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity TELL us that, somehow, if you make the rich pay more taxes, that means those DARKIES will sit back with their bare feet up on their cotton bales, playing their harmonicas and looking at our white women with lust in their eyes. And we can't have THAT, now can we?
The Republicans cut taxes for billionaires and millionaires and give tax breaks to companies that outsource American jobs to foreign shores, then tell us they can't afford to collectively bargain with public employee unions any more because they just don't have the money for it, since they gave it all away to the millionaires and billionaires to outsource American jobs to foreign shores! And that ain't cheap! What is our response?
1. Good God! If you INCREASE taxes on companies that outsource our jobs and PUNISH them for the deindustrialization of America, then — just maybe — they'll decide to reinvest in our country and provide jobs for no other reason than it gets the government off their backs!
Or do we say...
2. Duh, yew shure is smart Mr. Republikin! Them millionaires and billyunares spent so much munnys to get the Supreme Court to declare that corporations is peepuls too that it would be a SHAME to punish them for sending jobs to India. And if we send MORE jobs to Mexico, maybe fewer of them filthy beaners will sneak into America to steal our tomater pickin' jobs and lounge around our emergency rooms when the farm machines cut off their hands which we end up having to pay for since they ain't got no insurance which we wouldn't wanna pay for neethur!
The answer? #2.
In a time where good jobs are at a premium and our infrastructure is crumbling, the Republicans turn up their noses at high speed rail and other stimulus projects that would mean more jobs, a bigger tax base, and every other good thing that comes when people are working. What is our response?
1. What are you people THINKING? Ever hear of the Interstate Highway System? It improved cross country travel in America and made it easier for people — and their money — go get from state to state. It saved lives, provided jobs, improved the standard of living in America in ways we can't even begin to imagine.
Or do we say...
2. Duh. Wow! I knowed that Marxist Commie Socialist negro was gonna come up with SUMTHIN' stoopid to get work for his ACORN buddies but this is retarted! Name me one other country what has high speed rail trains that helps the peepuls. Other than Japan, France and them other countries what we beat in World War II. Do we wanna live like Japs and eat rice and fish eyes all day? Not me, I tell ya whut.
The answer, once more, is #2.
In an era where the divorce rate is higher than it's ever been, we deny people the right to solemnify their relationship with the bond of marriage for the arbitrary reason of sexual orientation. The Republicans tell us it's because when gays are allowed to marry, it will destroy the institution of Marriage in this country. What is our response?
1. That's nonsense. We have people like Rush Limbaugh (married 3 times) and Newt Gingrich (married 4 times) and Glenn Beck (who divorced his first wife when she developed cerebral palsy after giving birth to his children) and one Republican lawmaker after another getting caught in either heterosexual or homosexual extramarital affairs telling US how sacred Marriage is. How about they get THEIR acts together before telling US how to live OUR lives?
Or do we say...
2. Yew Betcha, Mr. Republykin. Them faggits ain't nuthin' but perverts what wants to indoctrinate our kid folk into their faggity ways by teachin' them that faggitry is normal when the BIBLE says its a SIN! Accourse, it says the same thing about eatin' pork, but pork is tasty so God musta got that part mistook when he was writin' the BIBLE.
The answer, of course, #2.
Are you sensing a pattern here?
We have serious problems requiring serious solutions. And all we're getting is a bunch of #2.
We can't blame the Republicans for ANY of this. This is ENTIRELY the fault of a lazy-minded American voting public that made the Tea Party possible, that made Sarah Palin possible, that made Michele Bachmann possible, that made Newt Gingrich possible — we made Rush Limbaugh rich, we made Glenn Beck rich, we made Sean Hannity rich, and while they laugh and laugh and laugh at our stupidity, those of us without two nickels to rub together actually BELIEVE that THEY are concerned with OUR WELFARE! That they DON'T see us as worker bees to be used, abused and then discarded when our usefulness is expended.
We are so stupid, all they have to do to make us eat dog shit is to wrap the turd in gold foil, put a flag and a picture of Reagan on the wrapper and call it a "Patriot Bar."
There are a few of us who ask serious questions. We are called eggheads, "libtards," traitors, socialists, communists and marxists, fascists and ACORN supporters because we believe the most important function of government is "to provide for the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity."
These christofascists want to start a war with Islam because of an archaic Islamic law that nobody in a country with a government outside of the 14th century follows (except for our good pals in Saudi Arabia, of course, where you can still chop off a woman's head if she is accused of cheating on her husband), while they ignore what Jesus called the most important commandment of all.
"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." [Matt22:37-40]
Yeah, but Jesus didn't have to deal with al Qaeda and terrorists and Mexicans and negro usurpers in the White House.
The old saying goes, "If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for life."
We've adopted a more simple mantra for the 21st Century...
"Ain't got no fish? Well, I guess you're fucked then."
May God have mercy on our nation. Not that we deserve it.
About this article
Article Author: Bill Schmalfeldt
Feel sorry for Bill. His brain is damaged. He blogs about his 11-year struggle with Parkinson's disease at Musings of a Parky Pundit . This column is where he writes his random thoughts about the bits of strings and shiny things that distract him. Politics, for instance. …
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